Procrastination

Extensive research of this theme brought me somewhat naturally to my Apple Mac’s built-in dictionary. Its superiority over anything by Collins, Oxford, and not forgetting the Dorling Kindersley Children’s Illustrated Dictionary, or more specifically it’s latin translator, opened my eyes to the origins of the word: Pro (forward) Crastinus (until tomorrow), which in turn got me thinking… it’s been a while since I rearranged my dictionaries and I thought, yes, I will reorganise my dictionaries, tomorrow.

Procrastination has its roots in anxiety and fear of failure rather than laziness. Those particularly prone to procrastinating tend to be of a perfectionist nature. From an outside perspective procrastination can be hilarious. The tell-tale signs are easily to spot: the laptop plugged in and ready for action, but no-one sitting at it. Instead, your sister hunched over the oven vigorously scrubbing the inside (something that under less pressured circumstances would never occur). Procrastinators will try to justify their actions vocally. Listen out for common phrases such as…”FFS!, how can anybody work in a house where the frozen pizzas aren’t chronologically ordered!”… and ”WHICH CUNT HAS GONE AND DONE IT BY BRAND NAME???”

The birth of the internet was the nail in the coffin as far as procrastinators were concerned. Ever found yourself reading 101 ways to pick up Christian chicks instead of working on that all-important assignment? I certainly have. Ever found yourself going to church to try a few out? I certainly have! Ever found yourself saying ‘Hi, nice bible’ to a 32 year old virgin wearing wollen tights and a hoodie? I certainly have! Don’t know what I was thinking – total bloody waste of time. I didn’t even fancy him.

But, lets not forget that procrastination has produced some great works over the years. It’s 100% fact that Old Will Shakespeare was supposed to be preparing a 3-course vegetarian meal for his mother in law and her sister when he nipped out to sketch the plot of Hamlet. People forget that ‘The Dark Side of the Moon’ was a mere distraction from a cress-seeds and BabyBio GCSE biology experiment. Y’know it’s easy to mock 2 pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps, but when you consider Susan Nickson should have been bleaching her toilet, it’s easy to see where things went wrong.